I Tried

I was sent this e-mail today:


In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the
question:

'What kind of man are you looking for?'

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'

Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.

She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself?

I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...
or woman for that matter.

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more.
I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face . He said, 'You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I'm worth a lot".


The problem that I have with this e-mail is that it implies a certain amount of perfection and arrogance in women and an implied amount of ignorance and superficial thought pattern in men. As if men are always deficient and on the wrong page when it comes to women and we are saying and doing all the wrong things, until that certain woman comes along and gives us that mental pep talk so we can straighten up and do right. It kinda pisses me off. Men and women are in the same boat and we both can benefit from a little more patience and understand in regards to the opposite sex. Ultimatums and condescension aren't useful tools. For the women that send this or read it and say, "Right on, girl."; you have to pause before you put yourself in the role of the woman speaking. Are you as pristine, focused, and perfect as she claims? The fine line that she is expecting this man to walk is also the tightrope that she has confined herself to. It seems idiotic to place expectations on another hoping that by doing so, he can help you to achieve those lofty heights. Instead of using unrealistic caricatures as the guide, use your intuition, and take time to meet and know a person. Stiff rigid guidelines will not help you from being hurt or save you from taking the time to get to know someone. If the only way you can feel whole, is by looking down on your better half; an chain e-mail isn't gonna help your journey through life anyway. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?