Monday, August 11, 2008

Patron Saint of Convenient Stores

At around 9:43pm, I set out to take a little stroll. As I walked, I thought about the cliche scenes in movies where a person is sitting alone in a church to find a little peace and solitude. I decided to try it. Who couldn't use a little peace and solitude to get their mind right and pull their thoughts together? I walked up to the church and was shocked to find that the doors were locked. Light were on, but nobody home. I was at a loss. Dejected, I tried three other churches and was met with the same end. All of them were locked. I suppose that if I were in dire straits and banged on the doors, someone would've come to my assistance; but I didn't do that. I just walked to an old abandon bridge and put some thoughts together there. Now that I'm here, I just can't get that one question out of my head, "Why were the church's doors locked?" I can't think of a good reason. Do churches close? If so, what are their hours and why isn't it posted on the front door? Were they afraid of a break-in? Who would do such a thing? And if that person is out there, isn't that church the best place for that person? Shouldn't there be someone there ready to help the poor misguided soul that is attempting to harm or deface a church? I'm not one for Organized Religion, but I've been around those who are, and I believe them when they say that their church is a house of God. But maybe I put too much into that belief? Maybe I'm the misguided one for believing the church should be a testament to the availability of God's unchanging hand and its faith, when faced with adversity, danger, and inconvenience. To show you how naive I am; I thought the reverend or pastor or whatever, lived at the church. Literally. I figured he was on call 24-7. I just assumed that was the life he chose.

Although I don't put much stock in Holy Books and Holy Places; it was a weird feeling to know that there isn't a vigilant watchman ready to adjust your walk with the Lord if need be. At any hour. Night or day. I came away with the same feeling that I had from a time I'd chosen to walk to a local 7-11, to get a cherry Slurpee. Only to find that it was closed. The feelings were almost identical. All I kept thinking was, "7-11 doesn't close???" and "There better be a damn good reason that this 7-11 is closed!!!" I was mad for a while, but I calmed down when I remembered how over-priced things were in there and how I could make my own Slurpee with crushed up Popsicles and Kool-aid. Sometimes a unfulfilled expectation leads to providence and innovation. Maybe God wanted me to enjoy the wonderful cool evening and not be couped up inside. If you ask me, I think he was just showing me that I was on the right path and didn't need a detour. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?


Anonymous said...

I certainly can understand how devasting that night was for you. I like how you looked on the bright side. You trusted that you were on the right path and God was walking with you. And guess what, he was.

Unfortunately, a church is like a business and that's how you have to see it. It is a building. The true presence of God doesn't stay within 4 walls. That's what makes God so awesome, he is omnipresent!

Your walk led you to see that God lives everywhere. The building is for us to go every Sunday for fellowship and to learn. Yes, the building is needed to fellowship with others but God doesn't stay within the four walls.

I designate one room in my house for my solitude and serenity. I sit there and meditate and listen to my music. When I really want to feel God and just talk alone with him, I take a bath. Turn off the lights, light a candle and have peace with absolutely no sound.

Just remember that God lives within your heart and he is always there, even when the church door is closed. bBlessed

Anonymous said...

Such a calming sensation when you are able to commune within in your soul, within your heart and embrace the spiritual side of yourself!
All you needed was what you have been given all yourself!
Spirituality is a beautiful thing!

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