Saturday, March 31, 2007

Perpetuation is the Most Sincere Form of Hipocracy

On Sept. 21st, 2003, my cousin was murdered. It devastated our family. As would most, our family came together to comfort each other reminisce and celebrate my cousins memory. During this time, myself and some of my younger cousins engaged in a conversation about revenge. We talked about how, if we found out who was responsible for his death; it would be a given that this person would meet the same demise. No one batted an eye at the prospect of killing whoever was responsible. Then my aunt, his mother, came in the room. She was carrying the suit that he was to be buried in. The pain, suffering, and anguish was so intense with her that I could feel it. It was a real, tangible experience. Some of us decided right then and there that we would NEVER want ANYONE ELSE ON EARTH to feel that way. Vengeance was no longer an option. My goal then became rebuilding our family & making my cousin's memory a celebration instead of a source of pain. I took that thought and broadened it to the general population's opinion on the death penalty. I decided then, I was no longer in favor of it. It took the death of someone I loved to learn that, "if it's wrong to kill, then it is wrong to kill." When I think about it now, I'm almost ashamed of my past views. I had the mind state that if someone wronged me bad enough then they suddenly aren't the same kind of person as me. I acted as if that person's family wouldn't be destroyed without them. I also realized that by perpetuating the behavior, attitude, or action I despise, I am encouraging it. It would be like someone raping a loved one of mine, and then me raping a loved one of theirs; while trying to convince others that I think rape is wrong and a horrible thing. If you get a chance, ask yourself, "Do I perpetuate the behavior, beliefs, and attitudes that I say I don't condone?" It's a tough question. But that's just my opinion, though and who the hell am I

1 comment:

LadyTrue2u said...

Sometimes, the things we hate the most is what we end up becoming!

Its called human instinct! We all react out of instinct because we are human and because we feel and society teaches us you harm me I'll harm you or get someone else to.

I had to read and then re-read and it made me stop and ask myself "have I healed"?

Similar situation happened, but a little different: months ago two people broke into my home and "attempted murder" on both my son and I. While I was sleeping and he was preparing to go to work (I'll add I use to be a heavy sleeper and didn't hear my door kick in "I heard nothing"). Thank God my son was up and downstairs with me and not in his room. Divine intervention!

Pain and fear almost became my crutch. I wanted this person and all his "girlfriends" to feel the meaning of pain and torment.

My entire life was turned upside down and in a blink of an eye, my son's brains should have / could have been splattered all over me. Thanks to God he jammed the gun and as always his angels stepped in and protected us!

Still - after months, I wanted some type of revenge. After, sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep asking God why. I decided to turn it over unto him and I allowed him to begin healing my thoughts, my heart and the way I speak of the situation.

I believe this is what happened when your aunt came into the room, divine intervention. You had to see and feel her pain in order to change your heart and ways of thinking. I believe God changed the atomosphere right when she walked in.

To answer the question with my opinion: I believe we can hate something so bad that we become what we hate. If you are not strong enough, or even willing to check yourself your attitude, behavior and beliefs soon become tarnished.
Sometimes we may start out with ill intentions but God somehow will change you, if you allow him to. We all have that human instint to create certain ill images.
But, we need to check ourselves daily with our attitudes, our beliefs, our behavior and make sure our reflection is pure, positive and good intended. Don't be afraid to look at yourself and to step up and make necessary changes.
Thats just the voice of ladytrue2u coming from deeperdepths and well who am I!

 
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