Corporate Ghetto

Apparently if you can answer yes to 4 or more questions - then you're officially "corporate ghetto."

1. You have at least one drawer/cabinet that contains more food than office supplies.

2. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafeteria workers, one of them has asked you out on a date.

3. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what you are doing for the weekend.

4. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.

5. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you didn't answer your phone quickly enough.

6. You paint your nails at your desk.

7. When you are on a personal call you, laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.

8. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the club.

9. To beat the system, you have codes for personal calls that let's someone know to call you right back. (For example, let the phone ring two times and call me right back)

10. You give your out-of-town friends your company's 1-800 number.

11. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several times out loud.

12. Coworkers ask about your father's surgery that required you to miss work for days - and you don't even know who your daddy is.

13. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your personal mail.

14. Your kid's school supplies all have your company's insignia on them.

15. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up your paycheck.

16. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.

17. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe the chicken grease off the handset.

18. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday.

19. You tell off your supervisor and a couple of other coworkers on a regular basis - and wonder why you haven't been promoted.

20. You get your haircut/hair done on lunch and come back two hours later. Then you ask "Was anybody looking for me?".

21. You cuss your creditors out for calling you at work.

22. You come to work on Fridays dressed for the club.

23. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, "Let me speak to my Mama"

24. You are sitting there reading this instead of getting your work done.

25. You, the big black guy, are the worst basketball player in your office

26. Instead of dressing up to go to work on Monday in order to start the week of right, you dress up on Friday in order to start the WEEKEND off right.

27. You admire your CEO, not because of his vision and skill at succeeding in the corporate world, but because he is a "playa"

29. You don't start working in the morning until you read
…But Who The Hell Am I