Back in the day there was a magazine entitled, Housekeeping Monthly. When I say back in the day, I mean baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack in the day. In their May 13th, 1955 issue they had a little list that they ran entitled, "The Good Wife's Guide". When I read it, I was reminded of how drastically the ideas of Home, Wife, Family, and Husband have changed. I'm gonna post at least one of these things per week and I want you guys; especially the women, to tell me what you honestly think.
Prepare Yourself- Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.
Ya know, I don't think enough women today wear ribbons in their hair. 1955 was truly a simpler time. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?
5 comments:
I wasn't born in the 50's, however, I'm one that can say - been there done that and it left me stale.
I'm sure the men back then respected, appreciated and wanted their woman more.
I'm sure they recognized when they had a good woman beside them and couldn't wait to come home to see her.
In my experience having been married for over 15 years (now divorced) This era has changed and lost its domestication. I did the homecook meal, even put the meal in the microwave- only to wake up finding the damn plate still sitting in there. And guess what? I even did the ironing of the socks and underwear! Yep, sure did. Had those boxers pressed folded and laid out for him. My man was pressed from head to toe (literally), made sure he always stayed G'd.
For what or for who? Man ole Man. I forgot all about those days, that's funny.
Good ole wifey.
The men are now leaving work and looking for the next street woman (you know what they say about a street woman). Sad thing, the men don't get that you can't turn a street woman into a housewife. You would think the man would want to turn that housewife into what he thinks is good in the street.
In my experience, I did the refreshing and soothing: waiting for my man to come home and he never came home. Too busy with the street women.
Men seem to no longer want to come home to a refreshed sweet and sexy good woman. (Sweetie cakes)
So after refreshing, looking your best, wanting to meet and greet him; your left waiting.
After all the refreshing that has gone unnoticed by your man and he seemily has taken you for granted, The woman grows stale from waiting and waiting....
I recently read an article where today's technology has ruined many good relationships.
Something needs to change. "Stella", needs to change and I feel the shift.
In my experience, I've learned... Never give your pearls to swine.
First of all, we are talking about a diffrent generation with a HUGE comparison to the roles of women, not only domestically, emotionally but also financially.
I feel like you should never do something you feel uncomfortable doing. Believe me, when the relationship is true, you will want to look your best. You will feel at your best! He/she will bring out the best in you! You will go from confidence to convinced.
Just as well, when you may not be at your best, your partner will feel that you are because you will see each other through more than physicality. You will be envisioning through the eyes of love, which encorporates the heart and soul.
Never be bitter because what you do should be done without looking for compensation or praise. Love is unconditional.
You must love yourself just as equally as your partner. If you don't have love for yourself there is no love to share.
When it works, you will know. Having a specific "dress code" isn't necessary when the eyes of love are truly and genuinely compatible.
But I will say I do enjoy "dressing" but it has nothing to do with REST or a RIBBON!!!
Let's keep it real. We all know there is more to marriage then appearance and dress code. That's a given.
Personally, I feel strongly that two people have to complement each other.
I agree with your statement of love is unconditional. However, I disagree with not expecting anything in return. Praise should never be an issue because what you do for your man/woman should always follow thank you or I appreciate you. Should anyway, its just apart of RESPECT and human nature.
Here is what I mean by that statement: "I disagree with not expecting anything in return". A person can't always be the giver, as well as, the other person can't always be the reciever. We should do for our mate because we love them and we are their helpmate. Now, If my man loves me and respects me enough, he will want to do for me as well. This isn't unconditional or expecting. It's two fold. I scratch your back and you do mine. That's a given. It's called scratching.
Just getting a little personal, I am a romancer. I Love it. Even though, I didn't recieve what I put into my past relationship, I believe in the good ole wifey club. I just learned to make sure, my love will be returned the next time around.
As far as appearance, Pride will keep you fresh and alive. It doesn't matter if you only have one pair of pants and shirt. Take pride in it and take pride in showing your mate off to the world. Your pride will have you looking and feeling like you have a million dollars. My Nanna always told me "Stella", keep your head up and look like you got something even if you don't. I think all grandparents past that on.
Again, let's keep it real. At least, I will speak for myself. I don't want to walk down the street with my man looking a "HOT MESS".
Yea, he still maybe the apple of my eye, my boo babe but come on; Keep it up and keep the flame burning!
And here we go again, behind every good man; you will find a good woman. Everytime! That good woman, will make sure her man got his shit in order. Don't get me wrong, that good man is holding his own too; he just needs the completion.
Finances. Yep, i totally agree with you. This day and ageit is rough to say the least. You almost have to have two income household to pull it threw. The woman might make more money than the man too. But you know what, if the man is secure within himself and the woman is wise enough to let her man be the "HEAD" of the house, it won't even matter.
Emotions: Emotions diffently play a big part. Look at how much time, energy and feelings you pour into one person. Here again is where love maybe unconditional, but it also should be recepicated. And, I agree with you wholeheartily, if you love yourself then this will never become an issue. He/she will give and recieve. Sadily, it has been an issue for me and I say, HAS BEEN.
Domesically, things are different, but I believe in old school ways with a touch of new skol. I think a person has to know how to balance to keep it going. Again, I'm a romancer; so I want to stay fresh, rested and ready. I want to be my man's sweetie cakes, his: me love you long time. Show me and do me.
AS for "Stella", she loves herself a bit much to grow stale waiting around for him to come home, because guess what?
I've learned....Never give your pearls to swine. When you have the right one, he will love you and respect you for being who you are. A Strong Black Lady.
I enjoyed this topic. Made me re-evaluate myself again.
You are absolutely right "Stella"...every action, reaction, and emotion should be reciprocated by your partner. Obviously you should both be in the relationship for life (possibly eternity).
I just simply meant that sometimes looking for praise may cause an issue because your partner may forget, be too tired, or simply not be impressed by your action. You should just never feel neglected or upset if it happens, we are all human and therfore err. So anything that is done should be pleasing to you and bring yourself comfort and confidence in knowing what you have done was all for love.
That's where good communication is a key. If you have bonded communication then you will be able to know aht the other is feeling.
I think I'm a bit of a romantic, sometimes I tend to look for logical romance (not very trusting yet). I believe that will come when I meet the right person.
I definitely like your concept of old school ways with a flare of new skool...fits the mold of the new improved woman.
Thanks for the input, it definitely makes you re-evalute yourself.
I just went out and bought 100 ribbons..and got my make up "did." When you coming over?
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