Friday, April 24, 2009

Things I'm Gonna Do Different #3

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different, if and when, I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.

#3. Sweetie Cakes- I never going to stop treating her like she is my Sweetie Cakes. The nickname will help me remember what she means to me. It kinda makes me think of sexy & sweet. I'll never stop talking to her like she is my Sweetie Cakes. I'll do things with her that I'd only do with/for my Sweetie Cakes. I'll share chores around the house. We'll work together in relation to future goals and accomplishments. I'll do things just to make her feel loved, especially when she might be feeling down. I'll take more pride in the way that I look and act, for her; but I'll never let outside things have more of a importance than what I feel inside my heart

This one pointed out so many things that I did wrong. I was horrible when it came to chores, I always looked at her bad days as moments for analysis instead of times for care and comfort, and never thought much about my appearance in relation to her. I'm gonna try and see if it helps. It couldn't hurt. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?


Claire said...

The longer you're out there looking for something better, the longer you will have being alone.

In my experience, I've learned...if you have something good, keep it. keep the good, work with the bad and grow from good to better to best.

It would be sad, to wake up one day knowing you never found the best because you were too busy looking for something better. Sorta like the one poem you had awhile back ago- where the woman kept choosing a different floor for her husband and never stopped only to find out.... Real sad

Susan said...

Amen Claire! That is the one of the best comments ever left on here. To add to it, mostly because i don't know where else this topic fits.... I don't think it's fair to torment with the women you are sifting through while on your search for the best. And whether a man feels that what he is doing is wrong or not, when a girl says that how she feels, you need to respect that and let her go, and tell her you are letting her go! There is no best woman in general. There is a best woman for a particular man, and vice versa and when you find that you'll know it. Don't lust after what others have and for unreachable women. If you don't feel it almost instantly its not there and you can't learn it or force it to happen. It just happens on its own. The love will just be just there. People are free to live how they want to live but they should also respect the feelings of others, and if you are hurting someone with your actions then you need to move on. Continue your actions if you feel there is nothing wrong with them, just continue somewhere else. Its ok to think what you do is OK even if someone disagrees. Everyone can agree to disagree, but if its hurting the other party, move on. And say you're moving on, don't just disappear with unanswered questions. Be up front, say there is no chance of us being a couple, tell the other person to start looking somewhere else, cuz you're not the one. DON'T THROW THE WHOLE BOX OF CEREAL IN THE TRASH JUST TO GET THE FREE PRIZE. IF THE PRIZE IS ALL YOU WANT, GIVE THE CEREAL TO SOMEONE THAT NEEDS FED. Recognize your actions and own them, and if you can't do that, well then you know its wrong too.

Clair said...


It would be nice, if men would be honest and just say "hey, you're not the one". But frankly, most men won't.

However, they will say this through the writing on the wall. If he is into you, he will pursue you.

Something you said, rings true and that is: If you are not the one then move on. We don't have to wait for the man to tell us, you know. Why wait and put ourselves through so much misery, when all we have to do is move on.

I've learned that we are in control of who we let in our lives and how we let them treat us. If we, as women, love ourselves enough - we will suck it up and move on. We can't control how others behave and we certainly can't make them change.

All we can do is: accept our own actions and how we played into it. Learn from any errs; grow from them and move on.

There is a new book out that I would recommend reading: Act Like a Lady and Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. Great insight and worth the reading.

Also, I've learned: One simple statement. "Never give your pearls to Swine". I'm not sure why, but I felt the need to respond to your comment.

There is a phrase that says: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. We have no control over other peoples actions, only our own.

You don't have to wait for him to tell you, you're not the one. Let it go, cry the tears, but suck it up and move on. We all been there at some point in lyfe and this too shall pass.

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