Things I'm Gonna Do Different #6

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different if and when I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.

#6. TALK- I'm going to talk with her the way I would talk with my boys. I will absolutely, positively refuse to say anything negative about my woman. In public or in private. Even if I knew for a fact that she would never hear it. I'm gonna share my most important secrets with her, and vow to never betray the secrets she has shared with me. They will be sacred! I'll be sure to keep a firm grasp on who I am, but we will approach life and all adversity as one. I will never give up on our love. Ever. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Left Hand Love

Can anyone explain this new phenomenon to me? I was walking one evening an I saw a group of men that I knew. Unfortunately I was on the phone when I approached them. The phone was in my right hand so as I reached out to give them a shake/pound/dap; I was greeted with the "Come On, Man" face and they said, "No left hand love, man!" I was astonished. They didn't touch my left hand and waited for me to switch my phone into the other hand before they would dap me. I figured this was another "young people" thing that I just didn't get, cause I'm old. Then a few days later, I'm at a theater in Pittsburgh an a gentle man older than me went to greet me. I was eating a sandwich that was in my right hand so I offered him the left to shake. He turned his face up and pulled his hand back. He said, "I don't do the left hand, man." Is this new to anyone else but me? I have no idea where this comes from, but it seems to be gaining momentum. If anyone has any info on how and where this fab came from, please post it in the comments. I have a sneaking suspicion that this new trend has a homophobic undertone, but I have no proof. I hope not because if so, this would another black eye to the image and attitude of our youth; but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

My Senior Poem

I saw a group of men tearing a building down.
I group of men in my hometown.
With a heave and a ho and a mighty yell,
They swung a beam and a sidewall fell.
I said to the foreman, "Are these men skilled?
The type you'd hire if you wanted to build?"
The foreman said, "Oh no, Indeed!
Common labor's all I need.
For I can tear down in a day or two,
What it took a builder 10 years to do."
I thought to myself as I walked away,
Which of these roles am I going to play?

I don't know the author of this poem but i dig it. i give a copy to all of the seniors that I've had the joy of counseling every school year. I posted it because i believe it has a good message that it seems like some of you need to hear. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Things I'm Gonna Do Different #7

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different if and when I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.

#7. Retire My Jersey- I'm gonna have complete and total acceptance of the fact that I've made a choice and I'm no longer looking for anyone else. Contrary to popular belief, this isn't much of a problem for me. I'm not a flirt, but I guess I do turn a blind eye to attention from women. Instead, I'm guessing I should shut it down completely and nip it in the bud. I don't think about the consequences of just letting a woman think what ever she wants. Sometimes it anonymously comes back to bite you. Now, I won't even entertain it.

I think this one will be practically effortless; but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

A Cool Moment

A few days ago, I took a group of young people to make amends to a person that they had wronged today. Each of them had written out letters of apology and practiced their "I'm So Sorry" speeches. On the way to make the apology, there was absolute silence in my car. Occasionally, there was a cough, or I'd talk about the strength of an apology and how difficult it is for a man to admit he is wrong. They listened, but you could tell that they were more worried teenagers, than attentive listeners. When we arrived, they slowly moved out of the car, and made their "Death March" into the establishment. Once we were inside, the person they had wronged came from the back and all of us had a 90 second Mexican standoff. No one spoke. I'm not sure if anyone breathed. In a long, slow, embarrassed motion one of the boys handed his letter to the worker. Once she began to read it, the boys clammed up even tighter. The tension was incredible. After about a minute passed the woman slowly raised her face up from the paper and the boys saw that her face was soaked with tears. As if it was a choreographer number the boys extended their arms, hugged the woman ans showered her with, "I'm so sorry" & "I apologize". The woman then brought the boys into a backroom and sat down with them and read each of their letters. In a brilliant twist; the woman didn't condemn the boys, but she told them stories about her childhood and how she is with her children. The boys listened attentively and shared pieces of their lives also. There were a lot of laughs and a few more tears. In the end, it seemed like an experience that all involved will remember. Besides the exchange between "victim and culprit" and the learning between younger and older generations, a perfect cherry was placed on top of the day. On the way home, the boys were loose and laughing and kickin' it in the car. About half way home the song "It Was A Good Day" by Ice Cube came on and me and the boys sang it all the way home. I can't really put my finger on why, but i believe this is one of the best days of my life. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

"Come On, Man" Face of the Week

Send your best one to rsj304@aol.com.Use the comments to add what you think someone said to prompt this "Come On, Man" Face. I love these, but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Things I'm Gonna Do Different #8

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different if and when I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.

#8. Money- I've seen my share of relationships end due to money. Friendships, businesses, and romantic partnerships have all be dissolved due to finances. As a couple, I will vow to cooperate with my partner in all matters involving how our money will be spent. Major purchases or expenses will be approved by both parties. Not to sound too businesslike, but we will most definitely talk about how to manage our finances.

Another one that seems easier on the screen; but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

An Elephant Never Regrets

The infinitely wise, John Moses, told me about an interesting concept. He asked the question, "At the circus, have you ever wondered how that little 3 ft spike, keeps that 3 ton elephant from charging the crowd?" Immediately, I began to wonder. I assumed, fear; but I didn't say anything. I just waited on the answer. He said, "Since they were baby elephants they were tied to that 3 ft spike and the couldn't move from it then, so they grew up believing that they couldn't ever move from it." That blew me away! As I always do, and suggest everyone do, I began to look at my life. I started asking myself what my 3ft spike was? I know that in the circus, the 3ft spike protected the audience; but look at it from the elephant's point of view. A large portion of his life is based on a completely false belief. I don't feel sorry for the elephant because ignorance is bliss; but this is a wonderful example that even in wild animals, perception is reality. I racked my brain and came up with 3 things in my life that I can consider a 3ft spike.

1. Being Born And Raised In Wheeling- People from a small town will tell you that often expectations aren't high and mediocrity is often celebrated. Sometimes small town success and relevancy leads to complacency and the death of passion.

2. Not Having A Degree- Although, I am currently in the process of getting my degree, I was of the belief that I can't do anything professionally unless I had a degree. i honestly felt that my opinion didn't matter and I should speak on certain topics because I am not a college grad.

3. Being A Single Parent- I often found myself defending my level of responsibility, and my judgement because I brought a child into the world without being married or even in a romantic relationship with her mother. I honestly believed that morally, I had lost ground and I had to try and catch up to everyone else. I also felt that in certain social and romantic circles, I'd never be taken seriously.

Having identified the spikes, I now have to get up the guts to pull those spikes out of the ground. It isn't a matter of strength, because I know for a fact that it will be effortless. The struggle will be telling myself to pull. Coaxing myself into believing I can. Psyching myself up into a frenzy of confidence.
Take sometime and figure out what your 3ft spike(s) is/are. Maybe you're lucky enough that you don't have any; but if you do, devise a plan. That is, unless you don't mind the circus your confined to. I've never heard of an elephant full of resentments. Not me though. I'm gonna pull out the spikes and see what's outside of this tent; because in ignorance may be bliss, but bliss isn't ignorance. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Yie Ar Kung Fu!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the greatest video that I ever played. I always used to wonder what the name meant in English. I used to save my change all week long so I could go to 7-11 and play. I remember that I couldn't get past Club forever. Then, after months of practice, several blown quarters, and a series of calluses; I got pasts Club. Then Tonfun worked me for a few months and finally, I beat him and the game. Those where the days! Video games only had a Joystick and two buttons. I wasn't as good as this guy, but I used to wreck shop. There were probably better things that could've done with my time, but I lived for those Saturday afternoons. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Things I'm Gonna Do Different #9

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different if and when I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.


#9. Golden Rule It- Whenever I doubt anything about my self, my actions, or my mate; I'm gonna ask myself, "How would you want to be treated?" Then I'm gonna act accordingly. If we get into an argument, I will not go to bed without asking for forgiveness. Even if I'm dead ass wrong. I won't waste time holding a grudge, dwelling on a mistake, or trying to find a way to blame someone else for my mistakes or short comings.

It seems simple but i know this will be difficult. but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Things I'm Gonna Do Different #10

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different if and when I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.

#10 Fun & Enjoyment- If I'm gonna be with someone, I gotta have fun with them. If this person stressess and never seems to release or enjoy themselves unless they're drunk or high; RUN!!! I don't think I could spend more time trying to make someone happy. The goal now, is to find someone that is happy and make them happier. Also, if someone finds no enjoyment or even interest in things that I like; I doubt it will work. Sometimes opposites attract and sometimes opposites are just opposites. Hopefully, Free, Serena Williams, or Deelishis can go 10 for 10. Then they'd be perfect inside and out. But that's just my poinion though, and who the hell am I?

Am I Alone On This?

I have found that despite how strong a person is in their self-esteem; I know of one phrase that will immediately turn that pride into insecure putty. I only know this because a friend of mine conducted a little experiment where he said it to random people and we gauged their response. From the results we got, all people have a chink in their armor of self-image. If you don't believe me try this, or think back to a time when it has been said about you. This is a statement that, even if you knew that it wasn't true, would force you to check whether or not it was. This is a statement that, even if you knew it wasn't true, you wouldn't want said in a public place, because you knew people would assume it was true without requiring any proof. Once you find out what the phrase is, think back to a time it has been accused or suspected of you. The worst part about it is I know a lady who actually has the problem, but isn't aware or doesn't care. She seems to be an angry bitter lonely woman. Maybe this is why. I hope people who loosely throw this around, understand its destructive power. It could be potentially life changing. The phrase is, "Your breath stinks." I know. It's rough, but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Blind Hypocrisy

Who would've thought that complacency would set in and allow us to catch the great Mike Wallace slippin'? This a general attitude of apathy that several patriotic white Americans share, but since someone like Farrakhan exposed it, it will be torn apart and given no credibility. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

The Inauguration I Would've Loved To See

What can't this guy do? If you don't think this is funny, something's wrong with you. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

New Schedule 1 Word

It's been a while since I added a new Schedule 1 word, so you might not know what I mean. A Schedule 1 word is a word that has no positive or medicinal purposes; and should be banned. In this case, the word itself isn't negative or destructive. It just stands in the way of progress. The new Schedule 1 word is MARRIAGE. As most of you know, I'm not a very big fan of organized religion. That institution gave birth to the institution of MARRIAGE. I'm not opposed to two people committing themselves to each other. I'm opposed to calling that commitment a MARRIAGE. If you call it a MARRIAGE, it excludes anyone that is gay and puts Atheists or anyone with non-traditional religious beliefs in a very compromising position. They would have to lie about who and what they are in front of everyone they love, in order to receive any of the following:
Judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
Domestic violence protection orders;
Bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
Inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
Immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
Joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
Dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support;
Joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
Status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
Joint adoption;
Joint parenting;

The list goes on and on.

As long as MARRIAGE is the term used. 1/3 of the United States population will be used to conform and repress who they are. I suggest that we replace MARRIAGE, only for those who chose to, with the term Partnership or Life Union. I like Life Union. In a Life Union, any and I mean any two people who love each other enough to make the commitment, can have all the perks of "normal, God-fearing, human beings". For those who are traditionally religious people, the term and ceremony hasn't changed for them. People who opt for a Life Union, we would also have the right to create our own ceremony and vows and celebrations of our love and commitment. I don't want to tear down anything that's sacred. I just wanna include everyone that can love; to love, and be proud of who and what they are at the same time. The benefits of a lifetime with the person you love shouldn't be conditional. It should be optional. I'm sure that this plan has loopholes and probably gets under a lot of you guys skin, but like I always say, this is just my opinion, and who the hell am I?

More Battle Rap

Y'all know how much I dig battle rap and cartoons. This is the best of both worlds. I dig this one because it is two of my favorites. Serius Jones vs Murda Mook. I've seen the complete battle so you tell me who you think won Round 1. I'm tellin' you, this is an artform that doesn't get half of the attention it deserves. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Rest In Peace

Bishop Donald Pitts, a longtime leader in the black community, President Emeritus of the Upper Ohio Valley NAACP, and mentor to Laughlin Memorial Chapel youth, died Monday, March 2nd. He was a friend, mentor, and honorary family member to me. My most lasting memory of The Bishop was our car ride from here to Columbus for a dramatic reading at an area church. I hadn't really met the Bishop before then, but once he found out who my family was, he made sure I was sitting in the backseat with him. On the ride up, I just sat in astonishment as this man told me things about American history, Wheeling's history, and even things about my family; that I had never known. He was a wealth of information and knowledge. One thing that I hope I can carry on for him, is his passionate belief in his people. By, "his people" I mean black people, people from Wheeling, and from time to time American people as a whole. I will miss him dearly and I believe that no one will ever take his place. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?

Irritation = Intuition

Have any of you just found yourself irritated with another human being, so much so, that you want to avoid that person? Even when you see or hear their name, you get a sick feeling in your stomach? In those instances, I think you must begin to ask yourself, "Why?" Initially, your answer will come back with a very superficial surface answer like: He/She is so dumb or He/She is just annoying or He/She just irks me. This is the time when you have to dig a little deeper than that; unless you just want that feeling to hang around. You have to ask yourself what, specifically, about this person seems dumb, annoying, or irritating. A true annoyance or irritation is something that you cannot ignore. If you can't ignore it/him/her then maybe this annoyance or irritation is a secondary feeling. Maybe the fact that something can't be ignored by you, indicates that there is an unresolved issue that needs addressed. The idea that you can be annoyed by something or someone that you don't care about is complete crap. You can only be bothered by what you allow to bother you. So you should be asking yourself, "Why am I letting this bother me?" DON"T BE AFRAID OF THE ANSWER! You may find out that you have feelings that you never thought were there, or that you don't have feelings that should be there, or maybe even that you have an opinion that needs expressed or gotten off your chest. When you decide that an annoyance be shooed away like a fly, you dismiss a portion of your natural intuition and start to stunt your own Emotional & Mental growth. It like you lose points from your Emotional & Mental IQ. When you get that feeling, start to ask questions. When you start to ask questions, answer them honestly; and when you get honest answers, don't apply those to a judgment or generalization. Use those honest answers to find similarities between yourself and the person/problem/situation. That is how true progress is made. Through commonalities not differences. If you understand yourself, you'll understand others better. Espeially, when you find out how much they are like you. But you have to look for the similarities, not the differences. Differences are easy to spot. Similarities take a keen eye. This will make your outlook on others and your ability to understand; substantially better. But that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?