Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Things I'm Gonna Do Different #9

I was in a six year relationship that recently ended. I have decided that I am gonna do something different if and when I decide to get in another relationship. The reasoning is that if I do something different, then the outcome will be different. I made a list of 10.

#9. Golden Rule It- Whenever I doubt anything about my self, my actions, or my mate; I'm gonna ask myself, "How would you want to be treated?" Then I'm gonna act accordingly. If we get into an argument, I will not go to bed without asking for forgiveness. Even if I'm dead ass wrong. I won't waste time holding a grudge, dwelling on a mistake, or trying to find a way to blame someone else for my mistakes or short comings.

It seems simple but i know this will be difficult. but that's just my opinion though, and who the hell am I?


Anonymous said... could really make a difference in your life by practicing monogamy the next time! No ring doesn't always equal no committment. And before "Stella", who by the way, we all know your real name sister, goes defending your honor on this one, she better check herself.
i choose to remain anonymous cuz i'm a jerk.

Scizzle said...

..and a coward

Kelly Jo said...

This is a good one! If you can do this your next relationship will be so much stronger and happier. But you both have to do it!

I was told many years ago, to never go to bed mad at your partner and to always tell them that you Love them before you go to sleep.

Stella said...

Personally, I always try to treat people the way I want to be treated.

Sometimes, I fall into that trap called reaction. Like the comment from "The Jerk" who wants me to react and blast them off. Lately, I've been soul searching and I'm
learning to recognize when I am allowing a person to pull my strings to get a response or a negative reaction.

I certainly will treat my lover the way I expect to be treated. I hope he will do the same, because it is a joint effort to make it work. If both couples agree on that statement, you are doomed for a Happy, Healthy Strong relationship!

The problem is: when you're in the heat of an argument, and it's hard to think straight and all you care about is your own feelins and you have all kinds of emotions running through you; its hard to think about how should I be treating my lover. Im learning the meaning to the term of temporary detachment.

Someone has to be the bigger partner and agree to disagree regardless of the situation. How you react, makes a difference and I see how Reaction is a chain reaction and it keeps on going, if you let it.

Look at how much time/energy is spent holding grudges, staying angry and being silent with your mate. Is it worth it?

Lyfe is too short.

There will always be disagreements in relationships but its how we react and respond to the disagreements that either make or break the couple.

What if that person, falls asleep and never wakes up? How would you feel, knowing you never said, "I'm sorry or I love you".

I think that question is a good question and we all need to ask of ourselves: How do I wish to be treated? Maybe if we spent more time asking ourselves that question, the world would be a better place and we wouldn't have JERKS.

This is a definite Golden Rule.

Anonymous said...

Sex is really not that important....TRUST means so much more....just a lesson learned through life experiences and a factor of unconditional love.

You must of had the camcorder fixed between the end of last month and about an hour ago...

We missed out on some truly inspiring cinematography!! ;)

Crystal said...

You should consider the "Golden Rule" with everyone you have contact with, not just the person you are in a relationship with (By "you" I mean the collective "you", as in everyone). I try to, but it's hard sometimes.

PS...Sounds like you have a hater in "Anonymous".

Anonymous said...

his camcorder didn't break, he just knows u can't bust that kind of thing out on every girl. We all woulda caught on alot sooner 2 the fact we were all being playd, cuz girls talk, u know we all do, and we woudla told the wrong chick some dude filmed us doing it, and they woulda had the same story and then he woulda been busted. i agree with the anonymous "jerk", cuz i been part of his plan and it don't feel good. He's the black version of Alfie, rent it, you'll agree! And i'm just remaining anonymous out of sheer embarrassment.

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